Ya know, I’ve read some on this idea of what is it, 30 days of sex or something along those lines? The notion that you, as a couple, make a decision that every day, for a whole month, you will have sex. I’m a’thinkin that a lot of women are thinking “oh no” and a lot of men are thinking “oh yea” right about now. I don’t know how I feel about this.

On the one hand as a Christian wife I think it’s kinda cool as a concept and as a relationship experiment. Husbands and wives aren’t supposed to deny themselves to each other so go all out for a month (or a couple weeks or a few months or whatever y’all decide amongst yerselves) seems like it could be a good idea. A crash course, a boot camp of love. Mashing yourself together so that you become truly one unit.

Then there’s the part of me that thinks: Boy that’s contrived. Every day? Isn’t that forced? Isn’t that expecting too much of any relationship?

For me and Sir Pink, we have another kind of plan in place. Something that we want to do every day (excpet in cases of illness or geographic separation). Instead of sex every day for a period of time, intimate contact every day for at least five minutes.

C’mon, you know how busy our lives get. How easy it is to forget with the kids and the jobs and all that to just sit down and snuggle. Or kiss. Or just tease each other knowing that you won’t actually do full on sex for another day or two?

What’s lacking in too many relationships these days is intimacy. We love each other. We care about each other. We enjoy each others company.

But we don’t talk often enough about our feelings and desires. We don’t just spend time basking in the glow of the other person. We don’t just spend time listening or shutting up and holding the other person. We don’t connect.

I think a 30-day challenge can do a lot to encourage connection. But after that 30 days of daily sex, will you simply have had a wild and fun ride or will you still be feeling connected a month later? I think maybe all of us should try a 30-day thang at least once in life. But I encourage you to spend five or ten or fifteen minutes every day for closeness with your lovey dovey partner and see what that does for you.

(Deke’s post on sex is over here)