Since Miz Pink went and got all sappy with her kid story on Saturday (actually, it was a cute story), let’s make our Two-fer Tuesday topic “Kids.” I’ll start.
No, not going to talk about sparing the rod and spoiling the child.
Not going to go over that stuff about honoring our mothers and fathers.
Already talked about Jesus telling us to “suffer the little children.”
OK, Bible down. I have no doubt I could expound upon spiritual stuff related to kids. Instead, let me give you some real advice, and this is mostly aimed at people who don’t yet have kids, or are about to have kids for the first time soon. But I’m sure even existing parents can get a tickle out of this, too.
- Before you have a child, think really, really hard about how hard you think raising a child will be.
- Double that.
- Then add on the stress of working for the world’s most demanding and least flexible boss (for at least four years).
- To that, add the idea of serving in an extended sleep-deprivation experiment (for at least a year, possibly two).
- Now imagine being denied regular access to the forms of entertainment you have come to rely on (movies, sex, clubbing, etc.) for roughly five years, give or take.
- If you are having your first child and you are in your late 30s to mid-40s, increase that total amount by 50%, because you are already getting set in your ways even if you don’t think so.
- Finally, if you are having your first ever child at the age of 55 or older, and you are doing this on purpose, please check into a mental health facility now.
All that being said, children are a joy, and the first time you get an honest “I love you” or a wet sloppy kiss on the cheek, your world will change forever, and for the better. There are few, if any, jobs more rewarding than being a good parent—at least trying to be a good one.
But oh, do those kids work the nerves sometimes. 😉