I know it’s very common for people to talk trash bout the big guy upstairs (um, God, that is, not the big fat man in the apartment above you who plays the music too loud) because they wonder how he could be a God of love and ever dream of punishing us.
I look at my swelling tummy and get ready for Mini Pink #3 to arrive, and I am filled with love. But I also know that he or she will get a ration of crap from me to go along with that love. I will lecture, correct, chastise and maybe even ridicule at times. I won’t feel good about it most of the time but also I will free it is right most of the time. And it will be because if I seem harsh from the kid’s point of view it’s only in order to keep that kid safe and raise it right.
I’ve been through this twice before and I still have to pull out attitudes and responses and punishments that I’d rather not with Mini Pink #1 and Mini Pink #2. I still have to watch helplessly at times while I let them make certain mistakes, not matter how painful, because I know they will learn from those mistakes.
I love them unconditionally. I would swallow crushed glass for their sakes or put mself between them and a bullet. I would kill anyone who tried to hurt them. I am an alpha bitch wolf and a she-bear. I don’t play. I won’t play. If one of my children should turn out to be a serial killer I will still love that kid. There is nothing that can separate one of my children from my heart.
But that doesn’t mean I give them a cake-walk and it don’t mean that I give them all that they want. It means I make the decisions I need to make and love them enough to do what needs to be done even if it makes me look like a jerk.
I expect no less of God. I never doubt that he loves me even when i don’t like what he does in terms of rules or disasters he lets go unchecked. Because that’s life and in the cosmic scheme and the universal perspective, there isn’t anything we go through here that matches what God has waiting for us if we don’t run out on him and go off to the nasty guy who tells us sweet things just to keep us on the wrong path. God loves us more than we appreciate and more than we can ever know.
Even with all I would do for my two kids and the third one on the way, I’ll never match God’s love.
(And yes, you can bet yer sweet biffy…whatever that means…that I will be posting a lot of pregger/kid themed things between now and when I give birth this fall and probably for a while thereafter too. Sue me)