Tag Archives: change

Marked for Life

So, I got a tattoo this week. Pretty big one, too. And pretty much visible to the whole world during the warm months. Like I’ve mentioned before (or at least hinted at), I’m dancing through my mid-life crisis to the tune of a very different drummer.

No stepping out on the wife with hot young thangs at the local drinkeries. No cherry-red sports car. No sudden abandonment of my family. Nope. Too standard.

Instead, I’ve decided to explore some whole new territories, like that erotica-writing thing. Like redefining my marriage (with the full input, blessing and co-planning of Mrs. Blue). Like marking my skin. Other things, too, I have done to mark my early 40s and make them my own, not all of which I’m ready and willing to share here yet.

In fact, my midlife isn’t a crisis at all. It’s a redesign. And just like a magazine that goes through the process, my underlying mission, content and character remain mostly the same. It’s the appearance and approach that are changing, to make me a better me (or so I hope).

No, no crisis here. Just realizing at around the middle (if all goes well) of my life, more or less, that this is MY life. There are others who occupy it as well, and I take them into account, but less and less do I give a rat’s ass what the world expects of me. I’m not a product. I’m a human.

The tattoo, of Quetzalcoatl, an Aztec god, is just one overt representation of that. I don’t care if the average person says, “Cool dragon” while totally missing the fact it isn’t a dragon at all. It’s not about them, though I’m happy to give them some eye candy.

No, this is a god of arts, crafts, knowledge, learning and priesthood that adorns me. It defines most of the things that define me at my core, and honors a culture long gone as well as the aspirations and directions that my Jesus-based spiritual journey entail.

More changes to come, I’m sure. But in the end, I’m still Deacon Blue. Still Jeff Bouley. Still a husband, lover, father, friend, guide and counselor. And sometimes idiot, fool and jester.

Oh, and here’s that new tattoo:

Zombie Nation by Miz Pink

So I was visiting my sister and noticed her stack of zombie novels on the desk. I guess zombies have been popular for  a while since there in plenty of horror flicks now and going back to what, the 70s? But I hadn’t realized it was such a fertile genre for printed fiction as well lately. My sister even says there was a short lived comic series that turned Spiderman and Wolverine and most of the other superheroes in those comics into zombies.

As we talked and as I thought about it later it wasn’t hard to see why zombies are popular. Sure we get excited about vampires too because there’s that taboo sexiness goth mind control thing going on. Probably some oral sex connotations too really. But zombies are popular for a whole other reason I think. They are mindless creatures that typically shamble around and overwhelm society and consume out of some imperative that has nothing to do with staying alive since…well, they’re dead right?

Isn’t that what we’ve been for too long in this country? Mindlessly following everyone else around us and consuming for the sake of consumption. We’ve been rotting like corpses (or at least our lives have been rotting from the inside out) and yet we motor on with our endless hunger.

Zombies are what we fear I guess. But I don’t think too many people realized they have been a mirror for our own selves. We fear having our brains eaten by zombies but many of us joined their ranks long ago and just never noticed.

I hope hope hope that the events that started with us elected a new leadership with functioning brain cells signals and end to our brain-eating zombie days. I like to think this is our moment where we take back the world from the zombies and when we give up our own zombieness to become fully realized humans again.

In short I hope that zombies can just go back to being another monster like the wolfman or the mummy. Something that doesn’t mean anything except some thrills and chills on screen instead of being something that bears metaphorical witness to our own hellish shortcomings as a society and as humans.