Temporarily marring what had up until that point been a pretty awesome day tooling around and visiting the beach and such with the family, we are on a small and crowded pier. I have just bought a messy fried concoction from one of the many stands crowded on the narrow pier, and head for one of the few tables nearby.

These tables can sit four adults comfortably.

A man is standing at the end of one such table.

Herein ends the setup for my rant/open memo…

Dear Jerk,

When you are standing at the very end of a table, talking on your cell phone, with your drink at the very edge of the table, and I sit down on one of the bench seats with my 5-year-old girl, at the other end from where you are, giving you plenty of space, I do not want to hear the snippy words, “I was sitting here” as you walk off in a huff with your phone, your drink, and whatever conversation you were having.

Seating is at a premium.

I had messy food and a little girl.

But most importantly, and for the record, if you are standing, and using the edge of a table as your drink-rest, and you are there simply to talk on a phone and not to relax or eat something, I have news for you:

You were not sitting there.

That is all.

Don’t ruin my vibe again.