I’d just like to take a moment to thank the U.S. Congress and the White House for such careful, measured and sane deliberation over the debt ceiling, debt crisis and all that.

I must say that I love seeing a group of politicians act like terrorists and hold an entire nation hostage to their increasingly ridiculous demands as they do everything possible to thwart the president from…well, thwart him from doing ANYTHING at all, good or bad, because they want the uppity Negro out of office and want to jumpstart their Christian spin on Sharia law.

I also love watching a president in whom I had decent hopes (and sometimes high ones) continue to negotiate with crazy people as if they are level-headed and help not only create a pile of dogshit masquerading as responsible legislation and budgeting but also try to spin it as a victory for progressives.

But most of all, thank you, everyone in power in Washington, D.C. for forgetting that you were elected by common people, struggling people and working people…and thank you for having the wisdom to once again steal from those most in need to give to those who keep getting more and more and paying less and less ever since Ronald Reagan convinced the nation of the myth that is trickle-down economics.

Screw all y’all…