So um…what’s up with the whole media hoax to boost your rep with everyone and make yourself some super hot property huh?

I speak of course of H1N1, who also goes by that cute nickname of Swinie thanks to his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Virus, giving him the messed up name of Swine Flu.

I mean, he’s got everyone so worried about who he’s gonna kill next that the president has declared a national emergency. I don’t want to be disrespectful or nothing since people have died, a lot of them younger folks who don’t usually fall to the flu but really, has it even made as much a dent nationwide as Katrina did in New Orleans alone? Nope. Swinie has 1,000 so far, give or take. Something like 1,800 direct death from Katrina and an estimated 4,000 total if you include indirect deaths.

And you know what the kicker is? Annually in the 1990’s 36,000 people died each year from the flu according to the CDC. 36 times more than what we’re seeing now. I know flu is serious people and getting vaccinated against swinie is probably a great idea, but we’re only caring now because it isn’t just old folks dying this time. Well maybe they deserve a break this year.

Okay I got off on a rant there b/c what I was really going to do was callously use the swine flu as a joke to lead into our other most popular media whore lately, the whole balloon boy family. Geez what a mess. Get everyone worked up that the kid might be floating away in a balloon and waste tax dollars and cable TV news air time with folks trying to get the kid back then claim he was hiding in the attic just so that you can improve your chances of getting on reality TV shows again.

Not like this is the first time folks have pulled BS to get media attention but it’s just sickens me that folks will use their families and kids especially as tools for this. And I ‘spose I’ll get on Deke’s bandwagon here and include that family with the 18 or 19 or however many kids they have now…the Duggers. And lawd don’t John and Kate roll out their family for the millions (of viewers AND dollars) with ease.

You want to broadcast your whole life in all its messy and perverse idiocy for the masses…fine. But do it while you’re single.

And swinie, you stop using kids to boost your stature too. Maybe you will become a real national emergency but unless I have my head up my rectal orifice and am missing something you ain’t nowhere near there yet.