Open Memo to a Random Ass-hat

Temporarily marring what had up until that point been a pretty awesome day tooling around and visiting the beach and such with the family, we are on a small and crowded pier. I have just bought a messy fried concoction from one of the many stands crowded on the narrow pier, and head for one of the few tables nearby.

These tables can sit four adults comfortably.

A man is standing at the end of one such table.

Herein ends the setup for my rant/open memo…

Dear Jerk,

When you are standing at the very end of a table, talking on your cell phone, with your drink at the very edge of the table, and I sit down on one of the bench seats with my 5-year-old girl, at the other end from where you are, giving you plenty of space, I do not want to hear the snippy words, “I was sitting here” as you walk off in a huff with your phone, your drink, and whatever conversation you were having.

Seating is at a premium.

I had messy food and a little girl.

But most importantly, and for the record, if you are standing, and using the edge of a table as your drink-rest, and you are there simply to talk on a phone and not to relax or eat something, I have news for you:

You were not sitting there.

That is all.

Don’t ruin my vibe again.

4 thoughts on “Open Memo to a Random Ass-hat

  1. robyn

    there are jerks everywhere unfortuneately. my recent response to one: take an effing leap off a short pier and take your toxic trek with you! [to a bicyclist on a trek bicycle, who felt the need to reprimand me for violating the yellow line rule, on a deserted country road, while participating in memorial bike ride for a family killed by a DUI]

  2. Deacon Blue

    @ robyn,

    I’m a firm believer in the “If a traffic law is broken, and no one is around to be harmed by it, nothing happened.” Sort of a variation on the “tree falling in the woods and no one’s around to hear it” meme.

    @ Big Man,

    One of our cooler days, actually. (It’s been uncharacteristically hot and humid round these parts this summer…though nothing like your neck of the wood…but this was a gorgeous day, which made me wonder all the more at the snark and extreme territorialism of the guy. I shrugged it off at the time, but it started to irk me later in the day…besides, a rant gives me a change to blog…LOL)

    @ Anna Renee

    For what it’s worth, I’m feeling you, too. 😀 Popped over to your blog a couple of times. About time to add you to my blogroll, methinks


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