Tag Archives: GOP

Abstinence Only Education: The Ultimate Act of Futility

Every time a conservative person, particularly of the religious persuasion, goes off on how important “abstinence-only” education is, an angel loses his dick.

Hey, the Bible says angels had sex with women at times, so they must have some junk under those white robes. And in this season when the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” tends to get a lot of play (every time a bell rings, a new angel gets its wings)…well, it seems an apropos image.

But back to the topic. Why the hell does this notion of teaching abstinence get so much play? Have all the members of the GOP conveniently forgotten that almost all of them had sex in their teens…before being married? Did they forget that many of their parents had them in their teens and got married primarily because those future Republican politicians and pundits were growing in a young womb?

I’m not saying we should be teaching the Kama Sutra in classrooms and letting teens watch pornos in school, but damn it, they need education about the risks of sex and how to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. Even loudmouthed fucking Sarah Palin’s teen kid got pregnant while unmarried in the midst of Mrs.-Holier-Than-Thou-Rewrites-History-and-Can-See-Russia-from-Her-Backyard’s efforts to try to drum up a presidential campaign.

Considering how much sexually transmitted disease is out there, and how many STDs are becoming resistant (or already long since have done so) to most available treatments, it is downright criminal to be trying to keep teens from getting access both to knowledge and condoms.

Because you know what? Teens are going to have sex. If they can get a person who’s willing to have sex, they will have sex. I know that I would have, if only the nerdy girls weren’t turning me down for dates just as much as the more popular ones were.

Teens have been having sex before marriage forever. For. Fucking. Ever.

I want conservatives to point me to this magic period in history when teens didn’t have sex before tying the knot. And don’t go back to the 1940s and 1950s and tell me how pure kids were then and how they obeyed their parents and were stalwart bastions of virtue. They got married in high school or right after often because the girl was knocked up.

So, conservatives, let me give you a math equation: Rampaging hormones + penis + vagina = teen sex.

No amount of pushing abstinence-only education will change that. Shepherds back in biblical times were telling their kids to keep in in their robes, too, and they didn’t listen then. They didn’t keep them in their slacks and poodle skirts in the 1950s, either.

So, shut the fuck up already, accept reality and let’s shoot for healthier and safer activities. Education and condoms aren’t going to increase teen sex.

But they might decrease the amount of disease and early pregnancies out there.

Truths From John Kyl

You know, I’ve sort of gotten used to U.S. politicians, primarily the Republicans but especially the Tea Party folks, spouting out random, made-up, pulled-out-of-their-ass-with-no-regard-for-reality statements to support their arguments.

Need to discredit President Barack Obama’s citizenship and U.S. birth status? No problem. Do what Sarah Palin and Donald Trump have done and say that he’s paid more than $2 million in legal fees to fight calls to see his birth certificate (which he long ago produced by the way) so he must have something to hide. No reason to point out that he’s actually paid more than $2 million to a legal firm for all of his legal work related to his presidential campaign and just being president, of which spurious claims that he’s not a citizen are one small part of the pile (John McCain had to pay well over a million dollars in legal fees just to tidy up post-campaiging matters, and his campaign wasn’t as big as Obama’s).

Want to make sure you can squeeze out every last penny for military spending and making sure that the ultra rich and big corporations continue to get ever richer while the middle class is shredded to bits? Just say things like, “Planned Parenthood shouldn’t get any federal funding because more than 90% of what they do is abortions.”

Wait? What? No, really? You said that, Arizona Senator John Kyl?

No matter that only 3% of what they do is abortions and the rest are health issues like breast exams, pap smears, and STD testing, plus contraceptive-related services. What’s an 87-percentage-point difference among rabid, lying idealogues who will stop at nothing to get what they want?

So, yeah, while I thought I had seen it all, the GOP manages to decline even farther.

But you know, since we’re going that route anyway, how about I help John Kyl with his next set of talking points:

  • The government shouldn’t give any money at all to public radio because 90% of their funds are spent arming extremist Muslims in terrorist attacks on the United States
  • All funding of the arts by the federal government should cease because 90% of that art involves two men making out with each other while walking all over an American flag and pissing on a crucifix
  • Anyone with tan-colored skin (unless from a tanning booth or sunbathing) should be shipped across the border to Mexico without bothering to check their citizenship status because 90% of all Latinos in the country are guilty of illegal immigration (and it’s all Mexico’s fault)
  • All black males should be placed in prison once they reach the age of 16 because 90% of them will rape a white woman after kidnapping some white babies and selling crack to white schoolchildren right before cleaning the weapons they used to kill a bunch of upstanding white guys.

No need to thank me, Senator Kyl. Just helping you with more material you can use to advance your cause and then say afterward, “That wasn’t intended to be a factual statement.”

Oh, and senator, it takes a lot fewer words to say: “I was shamlessly lying.”

Zombie Apocalypse Planning Mode Engaged

The longer that the unhinged and sociopathic people are allowed to set the tone and influence the agenda of the modern Republican Party, the more often I look at buildings and facilities with an eye toward how well they might shelter and protect my family and friends when civilization collapses.

Because with people like Michele Bachmann, Scott Walker, Glenn Beck, Paul LePage, Sean Hannity, Sarah Palin and Rand Paul (just to name a small handful) in positions of authority and influence, the more I see everything ending in a zombie apocalypse, super-flu plague, nuclear winter, general decline into tribal anarchy or something else along those lines.

Revisionist History

I expect all sorts of nonsense to spill out of Rush Limbaugh’s mouth.

I expect Republicans…particularly the crazy brand that we have to deal with right now…to practice revisionist history and paint events in distorted ways to support their agenda of enriching the rich and downtodding the poor.

But even so, this quote amazed the hell out of me with its putrid form of audacity and balls-out inaccuracy:


Here’s Your Trickle Down

Hey, Tea Party morons and most other Republican supporters (and no small amount of independent voters, too)!

Do you want to know why people who earn $250,000 or more should be taxed at a higher rate (like the wealthy used to be in the early- and mid-20th century)?

First of all, they represent around 3% of the U.S. population, so they most certainly aren’t the bulk of hard-working Americans who have trouble making ends meet.

But you know what the real reason is?

This figure:

The richest 1% of Americans now take home almost 24% of the income in the nation, up from around 9% of the income in 1976.

Yeah, do you still believe the myth launched by Ronald Reagan, and perpetuated by Republicans ever since, that if you let the wealthy keep more of their money, the whole nation will benefit?

If you do, you’re an idiot, as there is no clearer evidence of the fact that if you give them huge tax breaks so they can hang on to their excessive wealth, they don’t spread it around. Instead, they hoard even more of it.

Company executives get paid more and more outrageous salaries even though they don’t work THAT much harder than their employees (do you really think your company CEO works 40 to 100 times harder than you do? Get real). Companies won’t give workers raises that match or keep ahead of inflation, and take away more and more days off and more of their benefits, and make them pay more and more for health insurance…just so that they can keep making their top execs richer and richer.

Reagan’s trickle down theory DOES work.

But it isn’t money trickling down to all of us poor folks and us blue collar, pink collar and middle class professionals.

It’s the hot piss of the rich running down our backs as they laugh.

Double Talk from Elephants

While at a community event recently…a carnival-style event recently, really…I was enjoying a bean supper with my family.

OK, enjoying is a bit extreme. The beans needed some seasoning, half of the hot dogs (which were all sliced up) were something pale and anemic and more tasteless than mild bratwurst, the bread was white bread that made Wonder Bread look gourmet, and…I’m sorry, I digress.

Anyway, there is a candidate for Senate who is working his way through the crowd, glad-handing and trying to drum up voter support.

Cool. More power to him.

But as he approaches one guy, the potential voter asks, as he shakes the politician’s hand, “What party are you?”

“Republican,” Mr. I-Want-To-Be-Senator responds happily.

“Well, I won’t hold it against you,” Potential-Voter-Man replies amiably.

“You know,” says Mr. I-Want-To-Be-Senator, adopting a professorial tone of knowledge, wisdom and authority, “my opponent isn’t really a Democrat. She’s a Progressive.”

Naturally, as I eavesdrop on all this, you can imagine the startled gasp in my head. You mean that the woman I was leaning toward voting for isn’t a Democrat? She’s secretly a Progressive?

Dear God help us. Thank you for sending this honest Bible-loving family man who apparently has all the answers to the U.S. recovering fiscally (which no doubt involves heavy military funding and slashing all social services).

I mean, his line about his opponent pissed me off more than any other double-talk, means-nothing piece of drivel I’ve heard in a long time.

What is a Progressive, anyway?

Typically these days, it’s a certain flavor of liberal.

Am I supposed to be surprised that a Democrat might trend toward liberal ideology?

And yet, Mr. I-Want-To-Be-Senator has in the tone of his voice a note of warning. She’s a sneak. A traitor. A liar. She’s not what she claims to be.

I mean, if there were actually an active Progressive Party and you were telling me that she was really a member of that, and riding on the coattails of the Dems, I might give you some credit. Much like someone if someone were to theoretically tell me that Mr. I-Want-To-Be-Senator was really a Libertarian or Tea Party member and not a Republican.

But as near as I can tell in the United States, there hasn’t been an organized  political party called the Progressive Party since the 1940s, and of the three versions of the Progressive Party that have existed since the nation was founded, at least one of them was an offshoot from a schism in the Republican Party.

It’s the kind of double-talk that I’m finding tiresome among many Republicans, most particularly the hard-core conservative ones, who seem to like to plant labels on people that all seem to be code for “un-American.” As if the only true Americans are those who go to a Christian church, vote Republican across the board, cheer when abortion doctors are murdered and are in line waiting to date Sarah Palin should her husband suddenly drop dead (the men, at least).

Dear God, my Democratic candidate for Senate is a Progressive. Shocking.

Next thing you’ll tell me is that she isn’t really a woman…she’s a feminist.

Crazies Coming Out of the Woodwork

So, we get the guy now who killed the Black man at the Holocaust Museum, who apparently wanted to rampage all over Blacks and Jews. This after the whack-job who killed the doctor in church who provided late-term abortions.

And I still remember those angry conservative GOP rallies during the election season when people were shouting for Barack Obama’s death in some cases, simply because he had a funny sounding name, was black and was a Democrat.

And the loonies on FOX News, both the people who send in e-mails and the people on the air (pundits, hosts, guests, etc.) who espouse every kind of strange and outlandish conspiracy theory and latch on to the most minute things the Obamas do to try and convince America that the end is nigh.

Tell me, does anyone recall left-wingers going this nuts when the GOP came into power, whether after Carter’s defeat or the end of Clinton’s two terms? And when was the last time you heard about a raving liberal going on a killing spree for his or her ideology?

I’m not saying rampant liberalism is good. Too much left wing shit is still shit, just of another color and different smell. I perfer things somewhere in the middle, even if I like them to lean leftward a bit.

But really, please, can someone provide examples of recent left-wing killers and left-wing folks calling for people to be killed, tortured, etc.? And even if you can, can you convince me that there aren’t way more conservative, right-wing types who do this stuff?

Because the more I see of this, the more I think that being right-wing is be tended toward violence and hate, at least more so than left-wingers.

Typical Monkey Business

I saw the New York Post editorial cartoon the other day that had two cops over the bullet-ridden corpse of a chimp, with the dialogue: “They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill” coming out of one officer’s mouth.

It offended me on so many levels with its utter lack of regard for taste or logic. At the same time, it didn’t surprise me one bit. I won’t go into that here, though. Other bloggers, both black and white, have done a good job of that already. Go to these places to get a flavor of that:

Raving Black Lunatic
Deus Ex Malcontent
Huffington Post
The Field Negro

What I want to get into in this post is the ridiculousness of those who would defend this cartoon and its treatment of the current adminstration and, by extension, the way they defend the most idiotic monetary policies of the Republicans.

First, there are many that have the notion that the cartoon is OK, because it’s a political cartoon, and George W. Bush was sometimes compared to a chimp in such cartoons. Oh, now it’s OK to suggest violence against a sitting president? Because these defenders are likely the same people who would have screamed for investigations, sanctions and maybe arrests if any Bush-Chimp item suggested for a moment that any kind of harm was due to the president (and they didn’t from anything I recall). That’s hypocrisy, and it makes arguments that there is nothing racist about the cartoon fall flat.

But second, and perhaps more intense for me, is the wider issue here about the stimulus package and the fact that there are plenty of poor, working class and middle class Republicans who would simply nod their heads at this cartoon and say, “Yeah, the stimulus package was just that bad.”

I’m frankly sick and damn tired of this. I understand that many Republicans in the middle class and below it don’t like the lack of moral and family values that they perceive all Democrats, and especially liberals, to possess. And you know what, while I disagree with that, I respect that viewpoint. If you think the moral, law-and-order, marriage/sex/homosexuality views of the Republicans are superior, and that is your priority in a politician, great.

But stop defending their economic policies. I’m tired of Republicans who aren’t rich, and are getting screwed as badly as us Democrats of modest means, saying that the Republicans have been on the right track with handling our money. They don’t say word one about throwing trillions in the direction of Iraq to pay for a war we started under the pretense of fighting global terror, and they don’t get all that mad about throwing $800 billion at the finance industry and letting them do whatever they want with it…but oh, try to repair our nation’s infrastucture or reduce teen pregnancies or generate actual direct jobs for the working class, and then you’ve gone too far!

Christian Republicans in particular need to get up off this bullcrap. Christianity has never been about amassing wealth and pushing down the working class. Much of what Jesus promoted was very socialist, actually, when you get right down to it. He wasn’t about power and prestige and money and he didn’t want us to be either.

So stop defending the party that has elevated greed and bailouts for the rich to an art form. If you like them better for their social and moral stances, then just stick to that. Stop lying to yourselves that they are better for your pocketbook, because all they want is your damn money. And you can say that the Democrats want the same thing, but at least they seem to try to spend in on our own damn country and trying to make people’s lives here a bit better, instead of throwing our weight around and lining the pockets of people who don’t need a leg up.

And if I haven’t made myself clear enough how I feel, here’s a little something from Deus Ex Malcontent. A post I made there. First, though, the context. Chez posted a quote from JP Morgan Chase spokesman Thomas Kelly, who was being very evasive in explaining how the company was using the $25 billion it got from the late-2008 bailout the Bush Administration managed to push through for the folks on Wall Street. It went like this:

“We’ve lent some of it. We’ve not lent some of it. We’ve not given any accounting of, ‘Here’s how we’re doing it. We have not disclosed that to the public. We’re declining to.”

In my comment to that post, I imagined what the head of JP Morgan might say if he had decided to come forward and be honest about things. It contained more than my usual amount of foul-mouthed behavior, so be warned:

You cuntbags want to know how we spent “your” motherfucking money?

I’ll tell you. I don’t need that weasel-flak Thomas Kelly to speak for me anymore.

For starters, everyone at JP Morgan Chase from executive vice president on up is now debt-fucking-free.

Oh, and I bought us a goddamn island in the South Pacific to relocate to if any of you decide to try that guillotine shit that’s been bandied about.

We’ve got 90% of the members of both house of Congress on our dicks full-time, now, too. Lifetime thralldom from a congressman or senator doesn’t come cheap.

As for me personally? Shit, I’ll tell you how I spent “your” money…

…I’ve been using $100 bills as rolling paper for the finest weed you can buy in this solar system.

…I’ve been washing the taste of that pot out of my mouth with Perrier-Jouet champagne. I’ve been drinking it like water. Oh, that didn’t sting enough? How about the fucking champagne flute I’ve been guzzling it out of, which I had laser-carved from a single fucking perfect diamond the size of your shin.

…I also rented out the goddamn Four Seasons Hotel ballroom and hired a hooker from every conceivable racial background to do a mass fucking lap dance just for moi. And before they left, I let them head out with as many $100 bills as they could stuff in their cunnies.

And that’s just this fucking week. Just want ’til you hear what I do with “your” money for New Year’s.

Suck on that, bitches.

James L. Dimon, President, Chairman and CEO, JP Morgan Chase & Co.

My more right-leaning brethren, the current stimulus package, while it may not solve much, isn’t your enemy. It’s actually the closest thing we’ve seen to a step in the right direction for a long time. So, if you’re going to defend the cartoon I mentioned at the start, or if you’re going to support the Republicans, stop doing so on the basis of fiscal policy.

Unless you’re rich.

Two-fer (Late)Tuesday: WTF?

Gonna just toss the two of us into one post today…tonight…whatever. 😉

Deacon Blue

My WTF moment recently has got to be the one-two punch of the GOP steadfastly trying to deep-six President Obama’s plans just to be pissy, along with the folks on the other side who insist that the president should just screw over the GOP like the Repulicans screwed over the Democrats and the entire nation for the previous eight years.

First, as for the GOP douchebags:  Just because y’all have your nice congressional pensions to fall back on and wonderful healthcare coverage is no reason to try to make Obama fail just because you desperately want and need him to so that you can get the White House back soon. The country is hurting. Your constituents are hurting. You protecting your ideological interests and your contributors who are still rich is not the priority here. Trying somehow to fix the country is. Your economic policies for eight years sucked. They tanked our economy. They didn’t work. Trickle-down economic theory is a lie. Tax breaks for the well-to-do don’t stimulate the economy. Encouraging Americans to consume more doesn’t help the economy. You failed. Be grown men (and women) and deal with that. Get on board with fixing shit, or get the fuck out of the country. I mean that sincerely.

As for the lefties and even more moderate Democrat types who are feeling their oats and want to just beat on the Republicans: Grow the hell up. This is not a schoolyard. Returning the pain isn’t going to solve anything. It doesn’t matter if the GOP doesn’t want to work with you nicely. That’s no reason to try to rip them all new assholes. Haven’t you noticed what eye-for-eye strategies have done in the Middle East? What now, 7,000 years of animosity between Arabs and Jews? Be willing to rise above the fray. Defend yourselves if and when you need to, but stop calling for revenge tactics. They don’t pay long-term dividends that any of us want to collect on.

Miz Pink

WTF? What the fudge? Oh what a topic! I’m melting, I’m melting…

Okay my WTF thang right now is that octuplet chick. Six kids already, one or two of whom have serious issues. Unemployed. Unmarried. Living with mom. On the dole. Getting plastic surgery to look like Angelina Jolie. Spending her sustantial savings on said surgery and on getting 8 embryos implanted in her when she already has 6 kids she can’t afford to raise. Getting a publicist. Acting like this is normal.

Woman needs some mental healthcare counseling clearly. Needed it before she went to add 8 more kids to her brood. The fertility doc needs some investigating and removal of his license AFAIC.

When God said be fruitful and multiply, it was to Adam and Eve, NOT to the whole lot of us. Sure, in Pslams it talks about a quiverful of kids being a blessing and stuff, but that doesn’t mean we just push out kids we can’t take care of. We’re not supposed to be baby factories, us women.

Back in the old days, you needed plenty of warm bodies to hunt or work the fields or whatever. People died younger. There was a lot more room to expand becasue we didn’t have 6 bazillion or 8 catillion or however the heck many folks we have on the planet now.

In this economy going for a huge family and expecting society to foot your bill for you. That’s not godly. Thats bad judgement and bad stewardship and bad parenting. The original 6 get to suffer more thanks to a decision to have 8 more that was a decision born out of mental illness and poor judgement and wasn’t shot down by the people and professionals around her who should have nipped this in the butt to begin with.

The Unpatriotic GOP Faithful?

I just read a comment at Monroe Anderson’s blog, and I’ll just post a little snippet here to give you a taste.

I find it to be somewhat perplexing for those who profess to adhere to the Judeo-Christian values on which this country was founded to condemn the concept of “sharing the wealth.” I also find it somewhat puzzling for those who are seeking the highest elective offices in the land to view paying taxes as a punitive practice and not a patriotic privilege.

I highly recommend you click here and read Dr. Woods’ comment in its entirety.

And let me add my “Amen!” to the chorus.