Does She Know She’s a Goddess? Let Me Clear That Up…

In case you’re wondering whether my daughter realizes she has a powerful personality, the ability to get what she wants down the road in life (and often now, too) and understands what it means to be named after a goddess?

Well, here’s Exhibit A:


That’s an iPad in the foreground. (Don’t be jealous or think the little girl is *too* pampered…I got it as a Christmas gift from my employers a few years ago and it’s strictly first-generation iPad tech. I can’t even update the operating system anymore.)

Weekend mornings and the short time between breakfast and going to school, she will often watch Netflix in bed on the iPad to get in her favorite shows. Does she lay down to do this? No. Sit with her back to the wall/headboard and hold the iPad in her lap? No.

She places the cooshy Dora chair she’s had since probably three years old (and she’s almost 8 now) on top of her two bed pillows, and she sets the iPad down, gets seated, and watches it from high above in her seat.

Or, I think you all realize by now, her throne.

I’m Queen! Or Princess! Anyway, I’m the Boss of You

Me: Sweetie, did you wash your entire body?

Daughter: Yes.

Me: That just seemed like an awfully quick bath.

Daughter: (exaggerated indignation) Are you calling me a liar?!

Me: Let’s just say I’m questioning your attention to detail.

Daughter: (imperious tone) How DARE you!

Me: I dare to do a lot of things. I’m the daddy.

Daughter: You do not command ME!

Me: That’s a matter of opinion.

Daughter: I am a queen and I command YOU.

Me: You are not the queen around here.

Daughter: You’re right; I’m the princess, and I still rule over you.

(Laughter from wife in the other room)

Me: I think not.

Daughter: You have offended me and I sentence you to 10 years detention in my dungeon, where you will do very hard math problems and if you can’t solve them you will have to do drawings that are very, very nice or you will be in the dungeon for TWENTY YEARS!

Me: Good luck with that. You have no minions. All you have are stuffed animals, action figures and dolls and I can take them.